compare/contrast

it is very difficult to be patient when you know that your "fate" is in the hands of several total strangers who are currently poring over several pieces of paper and other assorted numbers that can in no possible way quantify or accurately depict your character or abilities...

what is infinitely more difficult for me is not comparing myself to others, resting secure in the knowledge of who i am and whose i am despite their decision. it seems like every day i am presented with an opportunity to compare msyelf to someone from my past or present. and i am tempted to think "well if THEY can, why not me?"

but then i realize that that's not how this thing works. i'm living a life governed by a plan far greater than my own with possibilities and opportunities beyond my imagination. how can i possibly compare myself and then make a judgement on my self-worth based on my (flawed and not entirely accurate) comparison. they are living according to an entirely different plan than mine and (may) have an entirely different destiny.

so once again, i decide, have decided, to trust in this case. i'm still scared to death about the outcome but i'm determined to rest secure in the perfect plan that awaits and walk confidently in my identitiy in Christ.